Are you stuck together, yet falling apart?

Sometimes a problem gets worse the more you struggle against it.

Do you have a struggling relationship with somebody in your family? They shares your DNA, but they also really— and I mean, REALY get to you. And no matter how much pre-game prep you do, telling yourself “you will not let them do to you today what they always do,” and no matter how you try to connect to them or communicate with them— you always get stuck! And I mean, STUCK!

It’s not like he’s a neighbor you can ignore or she's an employee you can fire. This is FAMILY! And you can pick your friends, but…well. Maybe it’s a Dad who ignores you. Or a Mom whose voice modulation is set on permanent WHINE. Maybe it’s an uncle who clicks his dentures through every meal or a spouse who corrects you every time you open your mouth! Perhaps it’s a sister who flaunts her superiority or a mother-in-law who still has no clue what her daughter ever saw in you. You gotta family relationship like that?

You're stuck together, yet falling apart? You can’t talk TO them, but you can’t walk away? Family reunions, Christmas, weddings, funerals— trust me, they’re the ones who ALWAYS come.

Or they don’t— but it’s your fault.

So whether they make a grand appearance or loudly stay away— trust me, you always feel STUCK, don’t you? Plus sorting through those oft-repeated and deeply painful questions.

Can I do anything that isn’t wrong?

Why all this dysfunction?

How come every family gathering is so incredibly hard?

How do you handle it when those closest to you hold you at arm’s length? When you get along with most everybody else, ‘cept your family?

DOES JESUS HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT THAT? Or any counsel for how to deal with difficult— even dysfunctional— relatives? Any examples from Scripture where He brought healing to a hurting family?

As a matter of fact, there is. And amazingly, it wasn’t some stranger’s family. Jesus helped change His own family! So maybe you need to do what Jesus did. He lowered His expectations. And accepted what they were willing to give. And He refused to get distracted by what they wouldn’t be. And here’s the good news: Jesus turned out just fine! Right?

How’s that for a hope infusion?

See, it’s easy to think that when those who are closest TO me don’t believe IN me— it’s easy to wonder: “How can I ever rise above something as painful as that?”The Bible tells us in Mark 6,Verse 3: “And they took offense at Him.” And that “they” includes Jesus’ family. So was Jesus HURT by their ugly response?

You tell me: “Jesus said to them, ‘A prophet is not without honor except in His own town, among His relatives and in His own home.’” Mark 6:4

So…I gotta ask: If Jesus couldn’t force His family to share His convictions, what makes you think you can force yours?

You can’t!

You can’t control how your family responds to you. When it comes to how others behave, your hands are tied. Which is why you gotta move beyond this naive and false expectation that if you do right, people will do right by you. Okay…they might! Then again…they might NOT! Either way, their response is outta your control. Do you realize— as long as you think you can control people’s behavior toward you, you’re imprisoned by their opinions? Not only that, if you really believe that you can control what they think and say — if what they say isn’t positive? Who do you blame? Yourself.

No matter how STUCK you feel about your family— or how misunderstood and hurt you may feel— don’t lose heart. Don’t throw in the towel and don’t throw a fit, either. But most of all, don’t give up. Because God is still in the business of changing families— and one day, He might even change yours.

Listen to more about being imprisoned by their opinions @ MARK-ed Down, But Not Out - Audio

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Quirky and dysfunctional works—

Whether it's The Beatles, the Indianapolis Colts, or the team you're on— these credos must drive your next re-build:
No team can be effective if they're four Ringos. And Peyton would make a lousy linebacker.

Quirky and dysfunctional works— if the players are woven together by and defer to a mutually embraced vision.

I may needle you, but you still need me. And I need you.

None of The Beatles did more on their own than they did when they were one. The only way Andrew Luck will be in next year's Super Bowl is if he buys a ticket.

You can't bring the thing I bring to our team— and I can't bring your thing. We are mutually dependent on each other.

Although it is important that I like you— I don't have to BE like you!
Nobody has the complete package.

If you're in a season [or pre-season] and find that it's time to re-shape your team, please remember: If you look for a mirror image of yourself [everyone's default]— your team will fail. The same is true if you try to replicate somebody else's team. Great teams look for what's missing— then draft that.

How will our team accomplish our stated mission and who is the best choice for the success of our organization? Those are the important questions. What's not the important question? "How is this decision gonna impact me?" Whether it's the coach who asks it or the quarterback or the ball boy…this question must be avoided whenever it's time to craft the latest version of your team.

Still not tracking with me? Then close your eyes and "Imagine" John Lennon dropping back on 4th and 6 holding a Les Paul instead of a football! And you thought Yoko caused problems!

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Are you imprisoned?

Are you imprisoned? Have you spent the majority of your life pretending you got it all together? You try to appear healthy and strong so that those around you will think you’re something more than what you know yourself to be.

Have you heard this story of imprisonment? Picture this, Jesus is right in the middle of His sermon. And it’s another good sermon— when all of a sudden, a crunching, scraping noise disrupts His service. In fact, pieces of tar and mud and sticks start falling on people’s heads.

The whole room watches in stunned amazement as a crack forms, and then this hand reaches through and starts ripping away tiles. As the hole grows larger, it appears that four men are tearing the whole roof away. Everyone watchs intently as these men begin to lower “a mat” and “lying on” that mat was another man. The same man everybody knew as the guy who laid at the entrance to the synagogue, begging for bread, maybe a coin. But now, he’s lying at the feet of Jesus.

Talk about imprisoned! This man on the mats' whole life was lived on three by six pallet. Somebody else had to feed him. He slept on the same mat he laid on all through the day. And without assistance, he urinated in the same spot where ate his meals.

And yet, to this man’s credit, somehow he had built a community of safety— a band of four brothers who had grown to love him so much that they were willing to step into social disaster to just help him. They didn’t care what anybody thought— or how silly they might appear— their friend needed Jesus!

So they brought him.

I wonder: DO YOU HAVE A FRIEND WHO WOULD CARRY A CORNER OF YOUR MAT? Hey, those kinds of relationship don’t just happen— you’ve gotta MAKE them happen!
When these four friends hear that Jesus is back in town, they go to their buddy’s house and pick him up! Literally!

You know what stinks? We don’t even know his name— all we know is he needed a mat. Can you imagine? Maybe you can, cuz maybe you’ve been known by your weakness, too. Cuz we all have one. Or more than one. All of us have a mat.

SO WHAT’S YOUR MAT? The mat is a symbol for human brokenness, for imperfection, and imprisonment. It’s the story of me I wish I could hide from you. It’s the “as-is” clause in every relational contract I make.

It feels risky to admit you need a mat. And that sometimes, somebody’s gotta help you carry your mat even though it means they can also see your under-belly. And know your weakness. And if they choose, they might drop you— and when they do, they hurt you.

Imagine that you’re the dude on the mat. And you’re being lowered through the roof to see Jesus. “What’s Jesus gonna do with me? Is He gonna be ticked cuz I ruin His sermon? I wonder if He really can heal me? And what about all these people? What if they start throwing stuff at me? And what if my friends lose their grip and drop me?”

Trust me, all that [and more] is racing through his noggin! Until he gets plopped at Jesus’ feet. And that’s when the whole room paused. And every eye shifts back…to Jesus.
As far as Jesus is concerned, the only other person in the room is that disfigured man. So He stoops beside him, glances back up to the roof toward his friends, and then, taking the man’s hand, Jesus, says to him, “Son, your sins are forgiven.” Mark 2:5

Jesus, in a powerful demonstration of what God’s new kingdom was all about, with five simple words— set that man’s spirit FREE!

I’m convinced that everybody has a mat— Maybe you’ve been stuck, on a mat of your own making. And though you’ve longed to be set free so that you can soar again— you’ve never actually allowed your heart to believe that SOARING could actually happen.

Well, I’ve got great news for you! YOU are exactly why Jesus came! He came to earth just to make a way for you to come into His new kingdom. A kingdom that’s not about at all DOING, it’s about BELIEVING.

This man did NOTHING to earn this grace! His friends did way more work than he did! Yet Jesus forgives him.

He Set a New Bench-Mark - Audio

Do you have someone who has carried a corner of your mat?

Share it with me.

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Is there more to your story than you can see right now?

Jesus’ death was a twist no one had expected. So when Jesus breathed His last, trust me: Nobody thought: “Excellent! Everything’s going as planned!”

No! Nobody saw resurrection, though TRUE, as anything even close to GOOD! True, the tomb was empty! And those women that morning, clearly KNEW that part was TRUE. But here’s wasn’t GOOD about what was TRUE: Every other tomb in the cemetery was still occupied.

And that’s why they fled— as every last one of ‘em ran for cover. They were disheartened, dismayed, disappointed, and disillusioned.

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